I'm sure it was only just yesterday that I held her in my arms for the first time?! Looking down into those questioning baby blue eyes, I knew that from that day on I would always be there for my beautiful little angel. It sounds like a cliché - but under these circumstances, it's allowed. Where have the last four and 3/4 years gone? Full of learning, exploring, craziness, happiness, tears, joy, not to mention mess...and now, she's about to hit one of the biggest milestone of all. She's starting Primary School.
For me it is the realisation that she is actually growing up that I am finding hard to grasp. Little Miss Independent - perhaps a little too independent sometimes - but she is still my baby. She is stepping out into the world for the first time and I wont be there with her. She will be, for a few hours a day, someone else's responsibility - someone else will be there to answer her never-ending questions, show her right from wrong and help set her on a path that will pave the way to a bright future. All these things that fill my day and make this whole crazy parenting experience so worth while.
I can remember my first day at school. I remember being so excited and meeting my first best friend, Kristy Parkes (we're still mates over thirty years later!) We went off to play in the sand together, leaving our mums all teary eyed at the door. I expect much the same will happen in two weeks time.
When I was at school, my Dad once said to me - 'these are the best days of your life, enjoy them'. Actually, I only slightly agree with him. School days were great, but the best days of my life started the moment I became a parent. A whole new responsibility that hit me so hard and I was expected to know how to deal with it. But deal with it I did, because of that primal instinct to love, nurture and care for the little life that we created. I want to fill each day with wonder and I yearn for my children to question everything, try new things and for that shining star of a personality to burst out and show its true colours.
Each day I help fill with new challenges to embrace - and that will never change, but it's time to let go a little...just a little and let her start exploring by herself. This is just a new challenge; the next step, the next chapter.
So, go out in to the world, little Emilia! Enjoy it, learn, play, make new friends and above all have fun - and, if you're anything like I was, be a bit rebellious too!
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